My Name is Scott Carter and I Suffer From Resting Bitch Face Syndrome

By on Sep 9, 2013 in Blog Posts | 0 comments

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For years I’ve wondered why people steer clear of me in public. I had eliminated the obvious possibilities such as body odor and dress with assurances from my friends, who I do have, that my fragrance is agreeable and fashion acceptable. One day while sitting in a coffee shop working I noticed a certain strain on my face. After a few hours of being in public, my eyebrows and cheeks were aching. It dawned on me that I wear a near constant scowl in public.

This is my face as I am typing this post. I’m not doing it on purpose and can’t make it stop.

I posted about this on Facebook and was quickly informed that I suffer from resting bitch face syndrome. From Urban Dictionary:
resting bitch face
a person, usually a girl, who naturally looks mean when her face is expressionless, without meaning to.
I’m 31 years old and this is the first I’m learning of this. My face has looked like this through countless board meetings, discussions with loved ones, movies, baseball games and days spent working at coffee shops.
I’ve tried everything. Looking out of windows to try to appear deep in thought. Forcing a smile on my face though nothing is amusing. Wearing sunglasses to appear to have a severe light sensitivity. Walking around just to force my brain to focus on other muscles and give my face a break. Nothing works. As soon as I’m seated again, the symptoms reoccur.
I need help. I know people are thinking I’m just an angry, prematurely balding oddball who should be given a wide birth in case he has a weapon in one of those suits he wears all of the time for no good reason. While all of those things, apart from having a weapon, are true, I think it’s keeping me isolated from the rest of humanity in a way that isn’t healthy.
What can be done? Cosmetic surgery is expensive and unreliable. Staying at home won’t change anything because I suffer from the condition there as well. Paper bags are unwieldy and humid. Please, post suggestions in the comments.